


Standing Frozen

by ultimatebellarke



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Drabble, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 09:01:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14745845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultimatebellarke/pseuds/ultimatebellarke
Summary: Bellamy confronts Clarke about why she is avoiding him. The fallout from the end of S5E05 "Shifting Sands".





	Standing Frozen

“Clarke!”

She hears her name brought with the gust of wind and wishes she hadn’t. Clarke keeps marching, eyes on the sand, arms tight around the metal tire rim. Just keep walking. Almost at the tent.

But Bellamy Blake is no quitter.

“ _Clarke!_ ” The voice maintains its intensity, though she has sped up her pace. “Clarke—wait a minute!”

Clarke starts as her elbow is grasped. She whips around to Bellamy, who has somehow caught up to her. His eyebrows are furrowed through his curls. “I was calling you.”

“Oh.” Clarke shifts on her feet. The metal in her arms feels heavier than usual. “I didn’t hear. Did you need something?”

“I—here. Let me carry that.”

Clarke steps back before he can reach for the tire. She tries for a smile, but she can barely feel it on her lips. “I’m good. Thanks.”

“Clarke.” The way he says her name, soft and ragged, makes her breath catch. Damn it. She hates it, this effect he has. And she hates herself for falling for it every time. “Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding anyone.”

“Yeah? Then why won’t you look at me?”

Clarke’s face burns. She keeps staring at her boots, studded with dirt. They’re secluded from the pit where the rest are working on the Rover, trying to fix its damn engine. Here, next to the parts tent, they’re hidden from view. A welcome silence from the crazed ramblings of Wonkru, and yet she prays someone will run into them. Maybe Monty will walk by looking for a cylinder, or Madi will want dinner, or even, god forbid—

“Look at me.”

She sighs. “I really don’t have time—“

“Please.”

She really has no self-control around this man. So she does, and her heart twists. Because Bellamy Blake is looking at her with tears in his eyes. It’s been too long since she saw him cry. She’s forgotten just how much the sight feels like stab wounds.

His voice is hoarse, barely above a whisper. “Talk to me.”

Through her burning throat, Clarke chokes out, “Nothing to say.” It is the truth. What is there to talk about? Clarke is upset over—what? A fantasy she has built in her head? An ideal concept to guide her through those six vast years, assembled on nothing but memories and nostalgia? What was she even expecting with his return? A static Bellamy Blake, preserved at 23 years old, ready to drop the world for her, to care for Madi with her, to build a goddamn log cabin with her? She’s glad he’s changed. Truly. She’s happy for him. And she’s happy for whatever vision of the future he holds, with whom ever he wants to share it.

With this thought, Clarke is suddenly dizzy. She stumbles back, losing her stance. Bellamy quickly reaches out, as if to balance her, but she jerks herself away from his hands.

She realizes the repercussion even before looking at his eyes, The hurt, raw and stabbing, takes her breath. The fire builds in her throat, her mouth, and Clarke lets the words escape. “You asked me how I survived. _You’re_ how I survived. And you’re not even—For 2199 days I talked to someone who wasn’t mine, and that’s my own damn fault.”

She turns away before he can see the tears fall, leaving him standing frozen.

**Author's Note:**

> Really needed to get this out of my system after that episode ending. GOD I live for this angst!


End file.
